Thursday, January 2, 2014

Transit



The man who takes away
a handful of cement
in his lunchbox, each day
To smoothen the floor he sleeps on
his home, of plastic roofs and tin walls

Will never meet
the little girl
who builds castles on debris
on a hillock of bricks and mortar
inviting stray dogs as play dates
on a dust infused construction site

The couple
Eating their meal in darkness
for the fear of being evicted, today
a mere candle will give them away
in a flicker, their lives destroyed

Are indisposed
to see the man who struggles
with the loss of his family trade
unlearning the skill of his ancestors
to a blind, progressive state

The woman, who sweeps your floor
unflinchingly tolerant
protecting a pride that holds her back
from begging in her own village

Does not recognize
The newly wed bride, forced to move
from the support of a new family
onto a desecrating footpath
adorned only by a husbands faith.

These strangers
Have nothing in common
Except movement
From fear and loss
For dreams and hope
For space, freedom, solitude, respect

For their need to belong
For their choice to live...

Saturday, August 31, 2013

A note on farewells



Farewells have surrounded me in this past few months. Me, and many who matter to me. More importantly, I have been part of many other peoples lives and such moments of separation from the things they love the most, or don’t at all. When I say I have been part of it, I have felt in many ways what they have felt. It's curious to have someone else's feelings inside you, especially of situations like these. It makes you feel queasy and empty and well, uncomfortable. And  yet, they bring home the feeling of something  ending, so clearly.

I have never felt  comfortable in the notion of ending things. The end is usually a little too final for me. I rather keep windows open. But life is trying hard to teach me the beauty in ending things. Like my friends father who is finally moving into the 'world of civilians' after a most remarkable career in the army. Or like a crazy little kid I know who is stepping down from the company she created, because it is now sustainable in itself. Such endings must feel so surreal, when the heights of one's achievements are so high that you just cant see it anymore. Only others can. All you see is the new road through a crack in the wall, and you long for the first feeling of the excited unknown, all over again. These endings come as boon to those who crave newer heights every single time. Like jack at the top of his beanstalk saying, 'must go find another man who'd sell me a new variety of beans this time.' The endings that come with a promise, with some nervousness and with lots of expectation.

Then there is that other kind of farewell. The one that makes you feel like saying 'Enough already. Be done with this.' Like you turn the corner and find the edge of a cliff, drifting off. I've seen so many of these two. Chapters in your life that demand more and more be written on them, before you can finally manage to put down your pen. Or give up writing. Things that dare you to end them. Things that remind me of zombies. Constantly resurrecting from its own pile of shit and ashes. You need to be careful with these types, as they won go by themselves, until you have a strong mind to do so. They will hang around like stray animals, waiting for you to notice. They constantly play on your weaknesses, and that is almost like offering that zombie your head on a platter.


But when you look at them closely, farewells are always silent. Their attributes are usually a figment of our mind, playing some rotten trick on us. The act of saying goodbye is only a matter of letting go, for the good or otherwise. Silently watching something detach from you, and grow independently, or die. But that is not your concern. There is a hidden contentment in that word, when you decide that something needs to transform into something else, and you don’t to hang around to watch it. Your part ends when you say, farewell. 


Thursday, April 11, 2013

untitled #16






Bury the undead
Ask them
To please
Leave…

Dig deep, with your fingernails
Feel the earth ooze
Underneath your determination
The scent of your will
Giving away your anguish
Turn every stone, undo.

Knead death into your tears
Let it nourish the grave
Make rooms for the pain
And lock it deep beneath

Bury the undead
Challenge them to stay still
While you lower your love
Push it underneath

And leave it
Immortal...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Shame


Brazen,
She cocks her head
Studying the damage.

Swaying to an obscene rhythm
Like a creature
Like a something
A nothing
She dances, on everything destroyed
By her

Gleeful at her escape
From tightly barred doors
Now burnt, demeaned
She is beyond my reach

Her deception
Is fresh and clean
Even as she reeks
Mossy, matted curls,
Soiled, clammy skin
Old bruises
She fascinates and abhors me

I see us both
Clearly
She, burning in her own sin
Me, calm in sacred linen

But the more our gaze lingers
The more I smell
The moss in my own hair
The grime on my face
The stale bruises

‘Come’, I whisper
As I pick her up
Because holding her hand just won’t do
Come. I take her back
Back  home with me…




Sunday, December 2, 2012

Untitled # 13


You are not my sorrow
And yet you thrive
In the unshed tears I carry with me

You are not my pain
But you fester my healing
In small deliberate ways

You are not my failure
But I disappoint myself
From time to time
Because of you

You are not my achievement
Yet I cannot think of you
Without some pride, some satisfaction

You are not my balm
And yet in you
I have found relief, composure, peace

You are not my happiness
And yet to you I sacrifice
Smiles I had known
From some earlier time

You are not a stranger
And yet you seem unfamiliar
In my nightmares

You are not mine
But with every passing day
I want more. I want you

You did nothing wrong
But surely
I did nothing right...

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Menthol...

(Love. Habit. And a breath of cool air... My dedication to my everyday)







I wake up, with you
in the back of my mind
A pleasant promise of togetherness
My morning ritual
My sanctimonious affair
Will begin soon

I search for you
Through a blurred vision
I long for you
Behind closed eyes
And in finding you
My fears seem allayed

As the flames touch you
Inches from me
I feel you singe
I take it all in
The fumes embracing my senses
Slowly the chaos fades

Morning has come
As your calm soothes my ruffled veins
With a hint of mint
A cooling kiss
You are mine to be devoured
Again...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Heal

(For Cheistha...)

Relent
Absorb
Open wide

Revolve, steadily
into a nonchalant abyss
then fall, quietly

Quicken your pace
Follow
then be led

Amidst swirls
resounding heartbeats
Evolve. Leave behind.

Look into
A new mirror today
feel a different pulse

Hang a new dream-catcher
Close your eyes
Heal.