Harvest: thoughts on the final month of the fellowship.

The time has come to turn around and look at what has become of the ideas and thoughts of the two years gone by; to observe the experiences nurtured in the last two years and pick and choose the learning from them. To gently tug on the moments that have managed to shine out and marvel at the extent of the richness it has left behind. For me, the beginning of this journey was the realization that things will change; and I felt ready to be immersed in a life that was absolutely alien to mine in every way.

And most of these two years were dedicated to exactly that. Trying to observe and understand the challenges faced by people who live on the other side of society. Where a simple card telling others how poor you are is the most precious thing you can own. Where politics and corruption exists in the abject needs of food and housing. Where the yield and harvest is not enough to cover the years debt, and profits are a long forgotten concept.

I did not live with them in their houses (which I regret), but I lived close enough to experience their lives each and every day. For almost 4 months, 2 men would come to my field office and spend 15 minutes willing us to do something about their corrupt Sarpanch and secretary. Everything from RTI and public hearing to social audits were tried, we still could not dismiss the duo for their wrong doings. Facing those men each day taught me the helplessness that can be faced when you are tied by laws with countless loopholes. When you are governed by a system that is almost lethargic to take up a cause. And when a slice of information provided by you can go to great lengths in changing the mind set of a human being, but usually not his plight. There have been moments of success, moments of happiness as well. But each success brings with it a restless fire that they are many more to aid. Many more lives to touch.

This experience in the fellowship and in Samarthan has taught me much that I will keep with me for many years to come. This yield has been by far the richest, the seeds sown have enriched me and shown me the world and much more about myself. Not many get to experience the immense shame in taking things that our parents have provided us for granted. It goes to show the efforts taken by them to give us a life that is seen by many others as a paradise of opportunities. Not many learn to limit the use of money to necessities; it is the reflex of seeing so many people living on so much lesser than you.

It has been redeeming to meet and respect the people who let me a part of their lives for 2 years. At the end, I was one of them. It has been sad to see the lives I could not manage to change but the conviction to dedicate my life doing exactly that. This sector has shown me where my loyalties lie, and that is in aiding the process of development in the country. I feel that I have suddenly been given the tools to fight a war, and slowly but surely I will learn to use it.

I will miss this life that has helped me understand myself better, in the hours each day I spent alone and in the everyday responsibilities I have had to face, which I knew nothing of back home. Cooking and cleaning after a tiring day of work leaves no time for anything else. It’s a struggle to save an hour each day for yourself; but because there isn't much to make the hours go by like TV or evenings with friends, you make do with reading and writing. And god. I believe the year brought out a spiritual side of me, and it helped me keep my sanity through the worst. I also met people who I would share experiences with, and some of them have become integral. I love and respect the people in my life who have stood by me and my decisions. My parents and friends have supported me through all of it.

I would like to thank each and every individual who has been a part of my life during these years.